Since the dawn of the 21st century, the Department of Psychology has begun to introduce speakers who are visiting the university using limericks. Unfortunately, the work of this important committee has not been sufficiently publicized, and so this website will present some of the more (or less) memorable efforts from this committee.
For the introduction of Bill Greenough in 2000
Bill Greenough took young rats to train
In hopes of improving the brain
With his toy-enriched mazes,
Dendrites grew like blazes
Making up for Urbana-Champaign
For the introduction of Michael Bailey at his colloquium in 2001
We owe much to the work of Mike Bailey
Whose studies of sex and genes daily
Show that if your twin brother
Takes a man for a lover
Then chances are you will act gay-ly
For the introduction of John Weisz in 2001
Like Santa, the work of John Weisz
Helps to make naughty kids nice
But he does it himself
Without any elf
And no presents, just valid advice.
For the introduction of Jack Rachman in 2002
If you fight thoughts that are black
By repeatedly scrubbing your back,
Then you need CBT
And if you don't agree
Then it's clear that you don't know Jack.
For the introduction of Edna Foa at in 2004
The work of the great Edna Foa
Cures obsessions, compulsions, and mo-ah.
If snakes make you shriek,
ERP for a week
Will have you adopting a boa.
For the introduction of Ludy Benjamin at his talk in 2004
I hope that it won't make you moody
To find that the world thinks we're fruity.
From Freud's great complex
To our focus on sex
The hist'ry of Psych is quite Ludy.
For the introduction of Margaret Kemeny for her talk in 2005
You think that
the germs should be blamed
For the retirement of Clarke Burnham in 2005
We're here to give thanks to Clarke Burnham
Our students were what did concern him.
He knew regulations
For grad dissertations,
Now sadly, we'll all have to learn 'em.
For the introduction of Bill Miller for his talk in 2006
I'm sure that you know of Bill Miller
Who's work tries to help each beer swiller.
After years of libations
He gives motivations
To get well, and become a gut-spiller.
For the introduction of Andrew Shatte in 2007
The research presented by Shatte
Talks of the cure for a bad day.
It isn't in pills,
But resilience skills.
So just help yourself to a latte.
For the introduction of James Coyne in 2008
When your life gets a kick in the groin,
Some say, "If you smile you'll be foi-ne."
But the evidence said,
You'd be happy, but dead.
And that's the other side of the Coyne.
For the introduction of Julia Heiman in 2009
Though research on sex is oft cited,
Arousal may not be incited.
No panic or cryin'
Just study your Heiman,
And soon you will find you're excited.
For the introduction of Elizabeth Loftus in 2010
If you wake up one morning believing
You were kidnapped by elves one fine evening.
Beth Loftus is guessing
You weren't repressing.
Your mem'ry's the one that's deceiving.
For the introduction of Charles (Chuck) Carver in 2011
If you lash out when down on your luck,
Then Doc Carver may get you unstuck.
It's the low serotonin
Got you mopin' and moanin',
So try turkey instead of ground Chuck.
For the introduction of Richard McNally in 2012
When anxious and feeling alone.
Or grieving so much you could moan.
Don't dilly or dally,
Just follow McNally.
And grab the right app for your phone.
For the introduction of Matt McGue in 2013
Addiction is dangerous in teens,
When life falls apart at the seams.
The work of McGue
Helps give us a clue--
The risk factors start in their genes.